Lenten Psalm Meditation: Psalm 19

Bit stream-of-consciousness today.   Bytheway,  I’m using the New International Version as base text for the psalms.   In a recent blog post comparing Bible translations to GI Joe characters, Jon Acuff of “Stuff Christians Like” fame describes the NIV as Flint – “third in command and comes off as very approachable and accessible.”  [He also describes my pulpit-Bible of choice, the NRSV, as Scarlett - "smart as a tack with a roundhouse kick like you wouldn't believe."  Yep!] 

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1 The heavens declare the glory of God;
       the skies proclaim the work of his hands.

Woke up to a crimson, pink and pale gold sky this morning.    As you may have guessed from my site title and graphic, I like sunrises…although, I confess, I’m not always awake to see them.   But every day, noticed or not, the sun rises – predictably, beautifully, and never quite the same way twice in a row.   The heavens tell not only the glory, but the patient faithfulness, of God…who, like a Mom packing lunches, does the unappreciated but necessary things, out of love.

 2 Day after day they pour forth speech;
       night after night they display knowledge.

I heard the first spring bird yesterday morning.     Those who live in winter-touched climates can appreciate this.   It certainly sounded like worship; although, as far as we know, birds don’t worship like we do.  Their songs are mostly mating and territorial calls, basic parent-child communication; functional stuff.     But the birds in the morning are doing what they do and being what they are.   They are focused and in-the-moment and absolutely at one with the beauties and the dangers all around them.     They are as God made them; so, they sing in the morning.   And who are we to say that that’s not worship, perhaps the best and truest worship of all? 

 3 There is no speech or language
       where their voice is not heard.

 4 Their voice goes out into all the earth,
       their words to the ends of the world.

Every morning our calico cat worships, in her own way.   She settles herself into a little patch of light on the windowledge in the upstairs hallway.  She hunkers down and stares at nothing in particular out the window.   Up at the sky, through bare tree branches.   And she purrs and she purrs and she purrs.   This morning she wrapped around son’s head, purring and pawing him awake and sending him off to school in a good mood – rare for a schoolage child on a cold school morning.  
       In the heavens he has pitched a tent for the sun,

 5 which is like a bridegroom coming forth from his pavilion,
       like a champion rejoicing to run his course.

 6 It rises at one end of the heavens
       and makes its circuit to the other;
       nothing is hidden from its heat.

In American weddings, which are mostly (although not entirely) male-female pairings, all eyes are on the bride, that lovely queen of the day; but when I do male-female weddings, I like to watch the groom.   It’s my duty and my honor to literally lead the bridegroom and his attendants to the altar and to stand with them, watching, waiting for the ladies and the queen.   I glance at the bridegroom’s face – the unique combination of terror and elation and anxiety and anticipation:   “Will she come? Will she really marry me? I’m in, I’m standing here, I’m committed to doing this…is she? Can this really be happening?” And then he catches sight of his queen.   He smiles, his eyes glisten, his breath catches in his throat.    He is the luckiest, and happiest, man in all the world, for this enchanting and complex soul, whom he has fallen in love with and chosen for life, has chosen to love and choose him in return.    He takes her hand, whispers something in her ear, and leads her up the altar steps where I wait with a few words to formalize a marriage that has already, really, taken place.    Scripture tells us that God is like a bridegroom waiting for us at the altar.   “I’m in, I’m here, I’m committed…will you come? Will you choose me as I’ve chosen you?”

 7 The law of the LORD is perfect,
       reviving the soul.

I’ve studied Bible for a long time now – in a lot of translations and from a lot of different angles.   And in the end, all I know is a Bible’s better open and in our own hand, then closed and beaten over someone else’s head.

       The statutes of the LORD are trustworthy,
       making wise the simple.

Like most young preachers, I went through a phase early-on where I thought I knew Bible better than my people.   Somewhat condescendingly, I pulled together a ”scholarly” Bible study to properly educate the plainfolk in my keeping, some of whom had only an eighth-grade or even a third-grade education.   

Yeah.   Boy, did I get schooled.   Seems God’s quite able and willing to teach those who don’t already know it all.

 8 The precepts of the LORD are right,
       giving joy to the heart.

       The commands of the LORD are radiant,
       giving light to the eyes.

 Wow.    Where’s all that joyless legalism that everyone, including a lot of Christians, say Christianity’s about?

When God is a scowling old man who sits on a cloud over your head with one finger constantly on the ‘smite’ button, there isn’t much room for joy in your faith.    But if God is your mate, your bridegroom, that loving parent or parent-figure or teacher whom you adore and want to please and learn from more than anything…in short, when our relationship with God is one of love and not fear…dancing with God becomes a joy.   Steering clear of things that aren’t good for our bodies or souls becomes really not that hard.   And the great big DO of “love God, love your neighbor” makes all the little “don’ts” not nearly so overwhelming or oppressive as some folk seem to think. 
 9 The fear of the LORD is pure,
       enduring forever.
       The ordinances of the LORD are sure
       and altogether righteous.

 10 They are more precious than gold,
       than much pure gold;
       they are sweeter than honey,
       than honey from the comb.

 11 By them is your servant warned;
       in keeping them there is great reward.

“Fear of the Lord.”     A little fear is a smart response.  This is, after all, the butt-kicking, name-taking God of burning bush and parted sea, God of cloud and fire and weird plagues and quick passion and scary Last Judgement imagery.   Want some idea how big this God is? go to nasaimages.org and take a look around.   God made all that, and more.   Pick your favorite volcano, hurricane, rogue wave or wildfire or F5 tornado.   Yep, God made that too.   Violence is part of birthing and death is part of living and God made it that way.   Even if I were the Best Pastor, Person And Prayer-Warrior Ever, my father still would have died of cancer because – for God literally only knows what reason – that was in God’s will.  Newsflash to all us liberal protestants, and yes, I am one too:   God is not a nice Victorian gentleman.   God does not do our bidding and God does not explain Godself to us and although God hears and considers and sometimes – oftentimes – grants us the prayer or even the full-on miracle…ultimately, God will be God will be God will be God, no matter what.   Fear God? We should!

But there’s fear and then there’s fear.   A little awe, a little healthy respect, a little knowing of our place in the universe (i.e., not at its center)…that’s a good thing.   Abject gibbering terror, on the other hand, is not helpful, nor is it necessary, nor even theologically correct.   For abject gibbering terror of God denies the love.   It reduces God to a chaotic unconsciousness at best, and at worst, to a sort of gleeful malevolent force “out to get us”.     There is something out there out to get us, but it ain’t God.   There is an ancient and terrible Love in that ancient and terrible heart, and everything – good bad and ugly – ultimately serves that Love.   God’s workin’ the whole chaotic wild lovely terrifying mess of things for our ultimate good – not our ruination.   What God smashes, God puts back together – often better than it was before.   The Presbyterians got it right:  “In life and in death, we belong to God.”    

12 Who can discern his errors?
       Forgive my hidden faults.

I am the queen of worrying what others think of me.   I’ve even posted here about worrying what the cats think of me when they see me coming out of the shower! I struggle mightily to not-worry about what people might think of my blog as it follows not only Spirit-prompting, but also my own cat-quick turns of mind and mood and fortune.   I worry what God thinks of me when I unload, both barrels, on Him everything I don’t write because it’s too unprintable! But Psalm 19:12 reminds me that for all the baggage I unpack – publicly or privately – there’s more still under the bed.   And that’s the stuff God and God alone can sort through.

 13 Keep your servant also from willful sins;
       may they not rule over me.
       Then will I be blameless,
       innocent of great transgression.

“Willful” sin? not just “sin”?  Maybe the psalmist is on to something.    The quickest way to drive yourself into crazy, useless-to-everyone spiritual paralysis is to get all obsessed and anxious about “never hurting anyone or doing anything wrong, ever”.   We’re gonna hurt people just by breathing.   We’re gonna do wrong things and never even know what or why.  Like that Nationwide commercial where the little kid in the bank just thinks he’s playing with a really cool vacuum tube toy, and has no idea he’s trashing some poor guy’s car in the process, we’re going to sin.   All we can try to control is the WILLFUL sin – the stuff we know is wrong but we do it anyway.    Then, although we will not be innocent of all transgression, we will be innocent of GREAT transgression.   Sometimes, that’s gotta be enough.

 14 May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart
       be pleasing in your sight,
       O LORD, my Rock and my Redeemer.

…Speaking of cat-quick turns in mind and mood, and promptings of Spirit…it has pleased the Lord to draw me – no, make that drop-kick me – into the Desert.   Desert-touched people have a way of coming back with strong messages.   To quote a man I respect:   “I have something to say, and you may not want to hear it, but you need to.”  The only way to shove that message past my inner censor, that ‘queen of worrying’ who so pathologically wants and needs to be liked and who obsesses over potential reactions from others who may not find her words pleasing in THEIR sight, is to cling to the prayer of Psalm 19:14 and to say…”I am SO OVER worrying what others think, God, only guide my words that they be pleasing in YOUR sight”…over and over again until I mean it.  

A broadsword and a scalpel both cut, but with two very different purposes in mind.   May it please God to give me the correct instrument and guide my hands.

~ by Mad God Woman on March 5, 2009.

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